Read that again.
You are not the problem. On the inverse of that, neither is your partner. I feel compelled to put this in a prominent place on my website because, quite honestly, a lot of folks have been harmed by previous couples therapy work.
I spend a lot of time earning trust and helping folks regain a sense of compassion for themselves within their relationships. I am honored to do so because… You Are Not The Problem.
The problem is the problem. The problem, quite often, is reflected in interactions, assumptions, deficits… most of which occur without our conscious knowledge or intent. My goal, is to help a couple work with “the problem” to solve it in a collaborative way that builds trust and confidence.
We take time to relearn ourselves and our partners. We get excited (and sometimes frustrated!) about understanding how to work with what we have. This is the work. Changing who you are to become “whole” or “worthy” or some idealized version of a partner is not it.
You are always welcome, in my therapeutic space, exactly as you are. Lastly, it is my job to help you believe that and I take it very seriously.
